Hah!

Laugh's on you, Human Resources. I already got an equitable job ... with the exact same credentials you found lacking. So there.

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Thank you for applying for the position of Editorial Assistant. All the applications received have been reviewed and evaluated. We took care to review your credentials thoroughly and have come to the difficult decision that your candidacy is no longer under consideration. Determining a small group of finalists was a difficult and lengthy process. Those who have emerged are considered to have the skills, knowledge and experience that more closely meet the needs of the department.

Again, thank you for your interest in employment at ____________. I hope there may be other employment opportunities of interest to you in the future.

Sincerely,
Human Resources
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Actual, factual ultra-personal (hah!) e-mail received today. Honestly, though the job looked good, I wasn't holding my breath.