It's been a long, long weekend. Make that a long month or so.
I figured it out: in the last 40 days, I have been in Tennessee, Washington D.C., Connecticut, North Carolina, Louisiana, Arkansas, Maryland, New York, and Massachusetts.
Yesterday was grandma's graveside memorial service. It was so strange to see the dirt for the two graves still fresh, side by side. Perhaps because I had already cried so much the week before, or perhaps because it was harder to see the casket at grandpa's service, I did not cry much this time around. Yet silent tears began to trickle down my cheeks when my aunt and uncle and mother choked up and cried during their eulogies. The prayers, poetry, scripture reading, remembrances, and Mom's singing of "Be Thou My Vision" in honor of her mother's Irish heritage (and fledgling faith) were heartfelt and beautiful. I'm glad we didn't have a traditional service for her. It seemed so much more personal and loving this way.
At last my mom and dad can go home and recuperate. At last we can all return to "normal." This also applies for my aunt and uncle who have spent the past 2-3 months alternating weeks to care for my grandparents as their health deteriorated and they finally passed away.
Now ... life goes on.
Up next for me: pray, pray, pray for guidance. Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst. Seek advice, but ultimately follow my conscience as led by God. And put out lots of feelers for job opportunities.
And ... I'm thinking about business stuff again. Thanks to the prompting of brooklyncs and my mother. Maybe ... just maybe ...