Tuesday, April 12, 2005


*snuffle, snuffle, sniff*

Okay, this is just getting plain ridiculous. I pump myself full of Claritin, take a pain reliever or two, and I still have a horrible headache, swollen throat, fluid in the ears, and what feels like every nasal cavity ready to explode.

Ahh, Spring.

Uggh, Allergies.

Oh well, as the French say, "C'est la vie." Such is the life of a hay-fever sufferer come the prettiest months of the year. Having said this, I'm feeling a little reflective today. I have an amusing (true) anecdote or three pertaining to this topic. I will tell them in story form.

Story #1: Little Red Runny Nose

Once upon a time, there was a young girl with a very, very red nose. Nobody could figure out why. She would go outside to play under her favorite maple tree, and, invariably, every spring the effect would be the same.

"Aaaaachoooo!" she would say, "achoo!"

This happened every day, until one day, she watched a Maple flower float to the ground. "Hmm," Little Red Runny Nose said, "My what a lot of pollen you have."

"The better to tickle you with, my dear," said the Maple flower.

So, being the brilliant child she was, Little Red Runny Nose picked up the yellow Maple flower and sniffed. Bits of pollen tickled her nose. She felt an itch coming. "Aaaaaachoo!"

Little Red Runny Nose ran back inside her house. A kind mother with a box of tissues rescued the sneezy girl and tucked her up in her bed to recover, spooning Cherry-flavored Children's Benadryl into her mouth. The End.

Story #2: A (Bad) Poem About A Hike

Up the Mountain Forest we went,
Until my eyes
swolled nearly shut.
I tried to calm
the nagging itch
that wouldn't
I cried; 'til
Daddy's handkerchief,
dipped in spring water,
placed across my forehead,
soothed my eyes.
I wore that handkerchief

Story #3: Is it Contagious?

"I'm sorry," I said after sneezing as politely as I could, "I have hay-fever."
He looked alarmed. "Is it contagious?" he said.

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